Hi readers! In my last post, I said I would write about another hugely formative experience along my decision making road, and the path to the life change. Near the end of my time with my last employers, one of the managers asked me, in passing, if I was interested in Life Coaching, as he knew someone that was looking for a couple of people to do pro bono sessions for, as a start. I said I would give it some thought, but before anything happened, my job ended. Credit due to the manager though, he phoned me out of the blue a few days after that and set me up with his Life Coach friend.
Initially, I was unsure what to expect, and as with most situations, I went in with a relatively open mind. The first session was more about introductions and assessing my suitability, and gaining a background on my life, in order to help direct the way the following sessions would work. Still, for an introductory session, I found it quite good, and fairly enlightening. After just an hour, I already felt lighter as a person. Strange, but it’s actually true.
I was going away for a short trip after the first session, so we set the second session for a few weeks later, to tie in with both our calendars. The second session was also very eye-opening. I won’t go into every detail, as these are private between the coach and the coached person. But, what I will say is that Kate, my coach, was very skilful in guiding me along the path that we had both agreed upon. Coaching is about helping a person to figure out certain aspects of their life, and to see what, if anything, needs to be changed, and in some cases, how to go about making changes. Very often though, the coach is not the one who makes the suggestions. The coach is your guide, the person that listens to your words, challenges your perceptions and thought processes, and helps you come to the realisations that you need to embark on the changes.
Naturally, some of my thoughts were focused on getting back into the workforce as quickly as possible. But, there were other factors that we discussed. Somehow, along the way and I still can’t remember where this popped out or what she asked to make me say it, but I told Kate that I enjoyed writing, or at least I did in the past. I explained that I had part written a script in school and then decided to turn it into a novel. It’s something that I never finished, but I have given thought to it every now and then. I also told her that I had two more novels that were either started, or in the idea generation and character treatment stage.
She asked me why I had never continued working on them, or finished them, and shamefully, I admitted to the dreaded writer’s block and distraction. Which certainly has been genuine, I might add! She then asked me had I ever shown my work to anyone, and I admitted that nobody, not even family, has seen my work, apart from a short story I wrote in school for a class assignment in English. She apologised straight away, as she was about to step over the established boundaries of the relationship, but she told me to basically get my head out of the sand, show my work to other people, and to start writing.
Then she said something that really resonated with me. She said, “You obviously have talent, and I can see that it means a lot to you too. So get writing. And stop making excuses!”
It was at that point that I really realised what a Life Coach is. Although Kate is the only Life Coach I have had significant experience of, she has opened my eyes to the kinds of people they are. Kate, and I am quite sure many other Life Coaches, are highly perceptive, empathetic, kind and generous people. It takes a certain kind of man or woman to be a Life Coach, and to do the kind of work they do. I have had people tell me that it’s just a fad, a folly, and that they do nothing more than prey on a person’s vulnerability.
To those people I say, no. You are so far removed from the truth and the actuality of the profession. These folk aren’t head shrinkers, evil, voodoo doctors or anything bad. And, no. It isn’t a religious thing either, unless that’s where your path is leading you, or it’s something that you consider highly important. The whole idea is to discuss the things that are important to you, or that you want guidance, and perhaps help, in changing or improving. What’s wrong or evil about that?
To cut a long story short, Kate has had a huge effect on me and my recent life. She encouraged me to stop giving into the fear of rejection for my writing, and helped me to see that it is the encouragement of others that help to improve a writer’s style and ability. Not long after my coaching sessions with Kate, I emailed a couple of trusted friends and asked if they would mind looking over my writings. I was still terrified that they would come back and say my work was awful, but thankfully that didn’t happen. In fact, quite the opposite. My friends gave me some very positive and also quite constructive feedback which helped me with edits that I had missed or correcting story gaps and stuff like that.
And since then, I have gone forward with my writing. Not back to the novels, not yet. But I have written lots of short stories, and even a few poems. And, believe it or not, some of them have actually been published! It will be a longer process, but I will eventually get my novels published. But I have Life Coaching, and Kate to thank for getting me back to doing something I loved. Writing. At the end of our coaching sessions, Kate emailed me and asked if I could write a short testimonial about my experiences and preconceptions. So I did. Kate replied the next day and told me that what I had written was beautiful. She said I had a way with words and that I should not deny the world of my talent for writing.
I honestly write, because I love doing it. That I can bring a smile, or a tear or any other kind of emotional or physiological response to a reader with my words, is the best testament and thanks that any writer can ever ask for. I have also written about sadder things too, and the response to that was overwhelming. Not only do I love writing, but I find it can be as therapeutic as cooking, another of my passions. To my readers, my friends, my family, and anyone who is touched by the words I write. Thank you, because without you, I wouldn’t be a writer.
